What the fuck am I listening to?!

Miguel – How Many Drinks? – The Forum – Live in London – January 17 2013

We all know the downside of actually listening to lyrics of a catchy pop tune.  That’s right, you’ll realize the lyrics are wack, the song is ruined, and now you’re likely pissed-off at whoever wrote and/or sang it.

Case in point, Miquel’s ‘How Many Drinks’.  Let’s examine the lyrics, shall we?

Frustration, watching you dance
Invitation, to get in them pants
Come closer baby, so I can touch
One question, am I movin’ too fast?

Cause I ain’t leavin alone, feel like I could be honest, babe!
We both know that we’re grown
That’s why I wanna know 
How many drinks would it take you to leave with me?

Here’s what I’ve gleaned from the song thus far… Miquel has identified a person he’s sexually attracted to.  He’d like to take this person home for the purposes of sex, but he’s not sure said person will agree to his plan in their current sober state.  As such, he’s asking said person to ballpark how much alcohol they’ll need to consume to agree to his plan.  Hmmm… that sounds damn shady.  Perhaps I’ve made a mistake?

Yeah, you look good and I got money
But I don’t wanna waste my time
Back of my mind I’m hopin’ you say two or three
You look good, we came to party 
But I don’t wanna waste my time

Temptation, is calling your name
Sweet persuasion, baby this is a game
Come closer, baby, if you like what you hear
Impression, is what I’m makin you feel

Cause I ain’t leavin alone, feel like I could be honest, babe!

We both know that we’re grown
That’s why I wanna know 
How many drinks would it take you to leave with me?
Yeah, you look good and I got money
But I don’t wanna waste my time
Back of my mind I’m hopin you say two or three
You look good, we came to party 
But I don’t wanna waste my time (waste my time)

No… no… seems I was correct.  Miquel realizes his plan hinges on plying the person he’s attracted to with booze.  Miquel is hoping that it will only take 2 or 3 drinks – not because he’s cheap or poor, mind you!  Oh no, he’s “…got plenty of money”.  Miquel is hoping ‘seal the deal’ in the time it takes said person to ingest 2-3 cocktails, because Miquel is a busy man who doesn’t want his time wasted.  Miquel “…ain’t leaving here alone…”.  So, if the first person he tries to get liquored-up is a no-go, he’ll need to move on to - presumably - person #2.  Plan B, if you will.

Now, whatever you think of Miquel at this point, Miquel would like you to know he’s open-minded.

No, no, no
I ain’t judgin
If you do decide that you might be fuckin’ tonight, what?
More power to you if you do decide that you might be fuckin’ tonight

You see, if said person does decide to engage in sex with Miquel, he won’t think that person  is a whore.  How nice.

This next part of the song is a bit…. well… there’s a odd paleontology reference, he likes your ass (bonus?), appreciates your workout regime, and seems to wish he had a set of breasts like yours?

Le-le-let me dig that out like a fossil
Damn baby that ass is colossal
Pilates a mill did that body so good 
You’ve gotten a pair I wish I could

…and then we’re back to the whole how-much-alcohol-will-it-take-for-you-to-have-sex-with-me thing…

How many drinks would it take you to leave with me? 
You look good and we came to party but I don’t wanna waste my time. 
Back of my mind I’m hopin you say two or three
Agree? Indeed
You look good and we came to party but don’t wanna waste my time,
Or waste your time, or waste your time, or waste our time
Baby it’s alright, baby it’s alright, baby it’s alright
Oh it’s alright now, alright, oh yeah
I don’t wanna waste my time
I don’t wanna waste no time
I don’t wanna waste your time
I don’t wanna waste our time, 
Or my time

How many drinks would it take you to leave with me?
Yeah, you look good and I got money
But I don’t wanna waste my time
Back of my mind I’m hopin you say two or three
You look good, we came to party 
But I don’t wanna waste my time (waste my time)

…but remember, Miquel’s not judgey…

No, no, no
I ain’t judgin
If you do decide that you might be fuckin’ tonight, what?
More power to you if you do decide that my might be fuckin’ tonight
I ain’t judgin
If you do decide that you might be fuckin’ tonight, what?
More power to you if you do decide that my might be fuckin’ tonight

Let’s go, shit
You only live once right?
I mean, where’s the fun in forever anyway?

What the fuck am I listening to?!

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